Hereunder is a report spread by those who want a total submission of their son to their mother. Of course one must obey the mother, but the conclusion drawn from an unfounded report is clearly wrong :
At the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him), there was a young man named `Alqamah. He was very diligent in obeying Allah by engaging in prayer and fasting and spending in charity. Then he fell ill and his illness became serious. His wife went to the Prophet and said, ”My husband, Alqamah, is on his deathbed. I therefore came to tell you, Messenger of Allah, about his condition.” The Prophet (then) sent for Ammar or Suhaib and Bilal, and told them to go to him (Alqamah) and have him repeat the Shahadah. Thereupon they went to him and found him in the agony of death. They asked him to say, “La illaha illa Allah,” but his tongue was unable to pronounce it. At that, they came and told the Messenger of Allah that he was unable to repeat the Shahadah. The Prophet asked, “Is either of his parents alive?” He was told, “Messenger of Allah, his mother is, but she is very old.” The Prophet sent her a message that if it was convenient for her (that is, is she was able to go out), she should come to him; otherwise she should stay in her house and the Prophet would come to her. The Prophet’s messenger came to her and informed her of the Prophet’s message. She said, “May my life be a ransom for him, it is my pleasure to go to him!” She then stood up, leaning on her walking stick, and came to the Prophet and greeted him. The Prophet returned her greeting and said to her, “Umm Alqamah, tell me the truth, for otherwise Allah Most High will reveal the truth to me! What is the situation concerning your son, Alqamah?” She replied, “Messenger of Allah, he prays much, fasts a great deal, and spends a great amount in charity.” The Prophet said, “And what about yourself?” She said, “Messenger of Allah, I am angry with him.” He said, “Why?” She replied, “Messenger of Allah, he has preferred his wife to me and has disobeyed me.” Then Allah’s Messenger said, “Umm Alqamah, surely your anger has prevented Alqamah’s tongue from pronouncing the Shahadah.” He then turned to Bilal and said, “Bilal, go out and collect a quantity of firewood.” She said, “Messenger of Allah, what do you plan to do?” He replied, “I will burn him in front of your eyes.” She said, “Messenger of Allah, he is my son! My heart cannot bear your burning him in front of me!” He said, “Umm Alqamah, Allah’s punishment is more severe and more lasting! Therefore, if you want Allah to forgive him, be reconciled to him. By the One in Whose Hand is my soul, the prayer, fasting, and spending in charity (which he has done) are of no benefit to Alqamah as long as you are angry with him! Thereupon she said, “Messenger of Allah, I call upon Allah Most High and His angels and the Muslims who are present to be my witnesses that I am pleased with my son Alqamah.” Allah’s Messenger said, “Bilal, go to him and see whether he is now able to say, “La illaha illa Allah” or not. It may be that Umm Alqamah is saying something for my sake which is not in her heart.” Thereupon Bilal went, and while entering the door he heard Alqamah saying, “La illaha illa Allah.” (Concerning this), Bilal remarked, “It is surely true that while Alqamah’s mother was angry with him his tongue was tied, and now that she is pleased with him his tongue is freed.” Alqamah died the same day. The Prophet came to him and gave the order for his washing and shrouding, and then prayed the funeral prayer for him and buried him. He then stood by the side of his grave and said, “You company of Muhajireen and Helpers, if anyone favors his wife over his mother, Allah and His angels and all the people curse him! Allah does not accept his spending (in charity) and his uprightness unless he repents toward Allah, the Glorious and Majestic, and reconciles with her and attains her pleasure, because Allah’s pleasure consists in her pleasure and Allah’s anger consists in her anger.” Source: Reported in Tabarani and Ahmed.
1. Ibnul Jawzi mentioned an abridged version of this narration in his Al Mawdû’ât (a book consisting of fabricated narrations attributed to the Holy Prophet ﷺ).
As Suyûti narrates from Al ‘Uqayli that this hadith is unauthentic (Al La’âliy al Masnû’ah) Shaykh Mash’hûr quotes this story in his ‘Qisas la tathbut’ (unfounded stories). The late shaykh
Al Albâni also criticised the reliability of this narration.
2. Likewise, the attribution to “Ahmad” is misleading, as all that is mentioned in Musnad Ahmed is that this was originally part of the Musnad, thereafter Imam Ahmad (due to its severe weakness) removed it from his book.
3. One problem of this narration is in its isnad : Faa’id Ibnu Abdir Rahmân Abu-l Waraqâ has been severely criticised by muhadditheen : Imam Ahmad, Ibnul Jawzi, Al ‘Uqayli and Al-Haythami say whatever he narrates should be neglected (matrûk).
Ibnu Hibbân asserts that it is impermissible to quote his narrations in an argumentation (la yajuzul ihtijaj bih). He was deemed ‘munkar ul hadith’, ‘dhahib ul hadîth’, ‘layssa bithiqatin’, ‘layssa bi shay’in’, ‘ittahamûhu ay bil kidhb aw bi wadh’il hadîth, ‘âmatu hadîthihi kadhibun’.
4. ‘Ulamas have also mentioned the following : whenever a tradition is mentioned at the start with words hukiya (“it is told”, as reported in al-kaba’ir) or ruwiya (“it is reported”, as written in At-targhib wat tarhib), then its authenticity is problematic to say the least.
Thus this widespread story of ‘Alqamah is NOT authentically reported from the Holy Prophet Muhammad ﷺ and thus cannot constitute a solid proof in Islam, although ONE MUST OBEY HIS PARENTS.
Mufti Husain Kadodia: (dead link) http://www.sunniforum.com/forum/showthread.php?44325-authencity-of-this-story&p=369969&viewfull=1#post369969
Shaykh Patel (hafidhahullah), from Reunion, who provided much of the information.
Mufti Zakaria Makada : http://muftionline.co.za/node/11978
And classical works : Al Majruhin, As Silsilat ud Da’ifah wal Mawdu’ah, Da’if ut Targhib wat Tarhib, Tahdhib ul Kamal, Taqrib ut Tahdhib, Al Jarh wat Ta’dil, Al Kamil li ibni ‘Adiy, Du’afa ul ‘Uqayli, Al La’aliy al Masnu’ah.
May Allah have mercy on all aforementioned scholars.
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